My Brother: The Texan Vegetarian

Hello all.  In today's post I will be featuring my most favorite person in the whole world, my big brother!  As I have mentioned before, he is the only other vegetarian in my family, giving up meat a few years before me after moving to Texas.  Here are some funny conversations he has had being a vegetarian in Texas!

Me: "I'm a vegetarian.  What can I eat here?"

Small town Texas Waitress "Me too! I'll get you the fried chicken!"

Me: ...

Same town a few months later... at McDonald's

Me: Can I get an Egg McMuffin with no meat?"

Cyborg Clerk: "No sausage. Bacon. Gotya."

Me: "No.  I don't want ANY meat"
Cyborg Clerk: "OH! so you double the sausage!"

Me: "How is that no meat?! I don't want sausage!!"
Cyborg Clerk: "You want ham then."

Me: "NO! just be me a biscuit, egg and cheese."

Cyborg Clerk: "I understand sir.  Please drive to the next window."

My tasty breakfast was a ham soaked eggs with no cheese and biscuit. I've made it to the 2nd level of vegetarian hell. But there is hope...

Same town a year later at what looks like a local Biker Bar/Pub

Me Cringing: "Can I please have an menu? Do you have any salads or veggie based foods?"

Bar Tender with an East Texas Accent: "Are you a veggimatarian?"

Me thinking I going to get tossed out or beat up on being a hippy veggie eating city slicker: "yea..."

Bar Tender with an East Texas Accent: "Yeeee Haaaa! I just came up with veggie burger recipe and I want someone to try it before my daughter gets back from UT. She does not like eaten critters and I want the lil darling to be able eat at my bar. I'll give ya the burger for free for ya honest option."

Me, trying to not act shocked "sure thing!"

It was a fricken awesome burger. :)

The above is mostly true... with embellishments.

-David 

I hope you enjoyed my brother's perspective of being a vegetarian in Texas!  I hope to have more posts from David on my blog. I love ya Big Bro <3

Bye from the veggie side!